Love, happiness, fun and friendship...
these are qualities we all look for
in dating relationships. 

However, in violent relationships these qualities are missing.

Physical abuse in dating can involve sexual assault,
rape, slapping, punching, shoving, kicking,
 cutting, choking, smothering, and biting. 



Yelling and name calling are not healthy in a relationship
 with someone you care about or love.

Verbal attacks can be a warning sign of future abuse.


Dating violence is an action that harms or is used to gain
 or maintain power and control over another
person in an intimate relationship. 

                            

Many young people stay in abusive relationships
 because they think explosions of jealousy
are actually signs of love.

                                                         

A healthy relationship, however involves two people
 sharing power and control, and never involves
 force or physical and verbal abuse. 
                                                
                           
   The Equality Wheel
Healthy relationships are based on the belief
that two people in a relationship are
partners with equal rights to have
their needs met with equal
 responsibility for a
success of the
partnership.



In this equity belief system, violence is not an option
 because violence violates the rights of one partner
and jeopardizes the success of the relationship.

The dignity of both partners are
built up in a relationship
based on equality.



Non Threatening Behavior
Talking so that you feel comfortable
expressing yourself and doing
things.  Acting so that you
feel safe and comfortable
expressing yourself
and doing things.



Respect
Listening to you non judgmentally.
Valuing your opinions.
Being emotionally affirming and understanding.



Trust and Support
Respecting your right to have
your own feelings, friends,
activities and opinions.
Supporting your goals in life.
Honesty and Accountability
Accepting responsibility for self.
Acknowledge past use of violence.
Admitting being wrong.
Communicating openly and truthfully.

Negotiation and Fairness
Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict.
Accepting Change.

Responsible Parenting
Being a positive, non-violent
role model for children.
Sharing parental responsibilities.

Shared Responsibility
Mutually agreeing on a FAIR
distribution of work.
Making family
decisions
 together.

Economic Partnership
Making money decisions together.
Making sure both partners
benefit from financial
arrangements.
                      
There are places to turn
for help if you are a
victim of domestic
violence. 

 Speak with your parents. 

If you feel that you cannot speak to your parents
there are other people there for you.

Teachers, law enforcement, and your health care
 provider are all concerned about your well being.

A helpful phone number is the
National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE.



The National Domestic Violence Hot line
is a vital link to safety for millions of
 women, children and families
in crisis.

One call to the National Domestic Violence
Hot line provides an immediate
connection with sources
 to help across America.

The Hot line connects with more than 5200
family services organizations to
provide a network of
emergency help
for families
 in crisis.



Advocates answer calls personally, advise on safety planning,
offer options for next steps, and stay on the line as third
 parties to support the caller's transition
to the next level of help.



Operating 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, the hot line is the only
one of its kind, answering more than 19,500 calls each
month from victims, friends and family seeking help
for violence at home, offering translations in more
than 150 languages and a TTY Line for people
who are Deaf, Deaf-blind and
 Hard of Hearing.